SUDDENLY

Making a decision was never been easy for me. but that's life. the past few weeks I've been busy trying to grab everything and have everything all at the same time. 

but one thing i forgot, that He only provides me with two hands. SUDDENLY i realize something; chasing everything all at one time is all nothing but loosing everything equally all at the same time. 

SNAP.

Suddenly, i am not a kid anymore..

Suddenly, i am at a lost for sure..

Suddenly, i its all a blur..

And now...

Its time to GROW UP

  

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem Almost too much to handle, 
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough, 
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee. 

A professor stood before his philosophy class 
And had some items in front of him. 
When the class began, wordlessly, 
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar 
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls. 

He then asked the students, if the jar was full. 
They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured 
them into the jar.   He shook the jar lightly. 
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. 

He then asked the students again 
If the jar was full...   They agreed it was. 

The professor next picked up a box of sand 

And poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled up everything else. 
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded 
With an unanimous 'yes.' 

The professor then produced  Two cups of coffee from under the table 
And poured the entire contents  Into the jar, effectively 
Filling the empty space between the sand. 
The students laughed. 

'Now,' said the professor,   As the laughter subsided, 
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life... 
The golf balls are the important things - God, family, 
children, health, friends, and favorite passions – 

Things that if everything else was lost 
And only they remained, your life would still be full. 
The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and  car. 

The sand is everything else -- 
The small stuff. 

'If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued, 
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. 
The same goes for life.. 

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, 
You will never have room for the things that are 
Important to you. 

So... 

Pay attention to the things  That are critical to your happiness. 
Play with your children. 
Take time to get medical checkups. 
Take your partner out to dinner. 

There will always be time 
To clean the house and fix the disposal. 

'Take care of the golf balls first -- 
The things that really matter. 
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.' 

One of the students raised her hand 
And inquired what the coffee represented. 

The professor smiled. 
'I'm glad you asked'.. 

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life  may seem, 
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with  a friend..'

Another day passed by ...

ME ...

envy others, but are also confident about myself. But sometimes i wish i could be confident about myself without the masks. i clean before people come over, even though am typically a mess. i dress up or wear revealing clothes, show off my tan, tattoos, and body, because i feel like it will get attention and make me feel worth something.

Sexiness is something i value, but i really want to be admired for my heart. I want someone to see through the masks and love me for me, but i sometimes don't know who that person is and i fear opening up to someone because i don't want to be hurt.I wish you could be like someone else, trade places just for a day, to see what it's like to be perfect.

I like lists and getting things done, but I rarely finish them. I want to be loved, so badly, for who I am and i am just waiting for the right person to show me that it's okay to rest in who i was made to be, and not who i am always trying to be..

till the next writing ...

mata2 ne

missery - wretchedness of condition or circumstances

I'm growing tired of all this. left and right,these people are like the republicans and the democrats. trying to tell everyone that their ideology is the best for everything. i really wanted to listen to the ME inside, but never have the courage. But don't get me wrong, coz for all that it worth, all the support and thoughts are always welcome. Thanks people :)

Nonetheless, One good news came in yesterday tho. i was pitched to be a consultant with one of the big shot here in Malaysia..yeay, my dark cloud's silver lining..finally. Delloite .. like wise, me just go with the flow. Thanks to that special someone whose always been the best ear and my motivation while i'm going through this hell. Fear not, i'll brace up myself and step out of my comfort zone!

Alhamdulillah.

Till the next writing...

mata2 ne.

A looong awsome weekend *S.M.I.L.E.*

A lot had happened for the past few weeks. Celebrating Eid Fitr with my beloved family, and enjoying a four day escapee in JB was...somewhat fun. Selling Pisang Goreng (fried banana) at the most recognize banana stall in JB, Johor Fried Banana at Galeri Mawar.
* MIGHT not wanna continue tho..haha.* and since now its officially over, things are somewhat back to normal i guess. okay, think I'll spill it one by one..

for the 1st four days of hari raya, we didn't even get a chance to go anywhere since gazillion people came to our house from th break of dawn till late midnight. at some point, i even felt like my house had turned into some kind of funfare circus park! haha..but it was a great raya since i didn't have to provide angpow coz i fall in the category of the unlucky-miss fortune-just graduated- spoil brat in the famly. lol. heck, i didn't even feel like raya in the first place coz i'm too paranoid of not getting any serious job that i can consider to be my career since graduated..sigh --'.

Then, on the 4th of raya, mom decided to pack up and follow along to raya2 in JB pulak. so, as MOM had announced, its mandatory to everyone to follow. again, i have to kneel down before the queen's Vito power. Spending the night in Melaka at nek ngah's place was somewhat reminiscing. I used to sleep at the verandah of the old traditional Melaka house together with my cousin, playing hide and seek, accident riding maklang's bike due to my shortness factor at that time (kaki pendek! lol), plucking buah ciku depan rumah and on top of it all, playing fire crackers at the lawn at midnight followed by citer hantu session. But, now that anggut is no longger with us, spending hari raya feels a bit solemn and a little bit under the weather for some reason that i cant explain myself. Al-Fatihah tarwah anggut.

The very next day, we took off at about noon and went to our long lost neighbour who used to live just a couple of houses away from us. Mom says her Lempeyek is the best hence ordered an incredible amount of lempeyek stock for hari raya. i could say it can last until the next raya kot.that's just how my mom's way of expressing herself i guess. then, in the evening we continue on our journey to Maklong Rita's place, (she's accredited to be one of the most influential Interior Designer in the country) and then straight to JB. Along took us out for dinner at Snibong and he spent almost RM300 treating us for delicious sea creature cuisine.

On sunday, we went to my Maklang's place for raya.(she's the owner of JFB) my initial plan was just to stay there for a couple of days to get to know JB a little bit closer. however, mom got the wrong idea and she thinks that i wanted to help maklang at her stall just to get the experience on selling the famous fried bananas. Things got out of control, and everybody was soo excited thinking that i'll get my lesson as i HAVE to stay there and work. Truly, working at the stall was really an awsome experience. No doubt about it. i didn't even mind to go back there and giving my service to them. it just that, having to stay there and being treated like a total stranger really is a different story. nonetheless, being the understanding person i am, i just braced myself up and works my ass off for that 5 extremely challenging days. pretending that i'm fine, no heart feeling what so ever sheraps, only HE knows how i felt inside..or rather how i FEEL inside. Soo much to tell, but i'll just sweep it all under the rug. but that's beside the point. for what ever it was, Thanks for the opportunity *smile*


Now, ive recharge my energy after spending 2 days in Singapore. Laughing day and night, having to meet all my relatives really do the tricks. went to play snooker, sarapan at McD at 3am, pekena Susuk Babi by Faiz, i feel soo much better now despite haven't get a chance to beraya with the special one sampai merajuk tak meses beliau dari Singapore. Almaklum lah, i'll be charge one dollar per sms send to Malaysia. Rabak seh.. hehe..
here, i would like to thank especially to Along, for taking me there ( and for belanja bikin paspot.lol), Eda, Mafudz, Abdilla, Faiz, Aziz - for spending their precious time entertaining me, Abang Zul and Family, Nenek Sabi for having me there, Maklang's family in JB, those who gives me angpow in Singapore Dollar *grin* and to Allah for giving me the opportunity.. (macam award la plak! haha)

till the next writing.

Mata2 ne.

Permohonan sebagai Guru MRSM

Kepada para pembaca/sesiapa yang berminat untuk menjadi guru di MRSM, boleh la kamu mengisi borang di laman web MARA. Tarikh tutup permohonan adalah pada 27th September 2009.

Semoga berjaya!!!

selepas 07/08/09

Lama rasanya aku tak update blog ni..hmp.. well, been a bit preoccupied by all the little little things that is happening in my life. & also BIG things that happened as well. Berikut adalah sequence nye.

24-26 julai di Janda baik

i went to the KLWMBC VOLUNTEER CAMP.. it was a heck of an experience. having to meet all the best-open minded-cool people is really a bless. I've been wanting to join the event ever since it was first initiated in 2007.. how ever i have other obligations which restrain me from joining back then. same goes in 2008 when i was busy working as a site engineer. *sigh -____-'*

but, when one of my friend pitch me to join it this year. i thought - *seize it what i should do*...so there was i joining the camp. albeit the fact that i have to sleep in the tent when everyone else are happily sleeping with a cozy bed with thick warm blanket and a pillow! * WTH!? what kind of camping is that!? ==' * FIIIIIIINEE! hehe

Nevertheless, what i treassure the most is having to know the group of funky and hype people which contribute to the wolrd noise pollution there. & they are all happened to be from the same class or faculty *Masscommers*... surprise, surprise oh~

at the end of the day,its all worth the tiredness and troubles that i went through. Heart u people!

07 Ogos - Selamat tinggal Careerxcell

was the last day for me working as a Project Administrator @ Coordinator there. the tremendous experience that i get while working there *even just for a couple of month* is ermm.. gratifying?? guess so.hehe

But above all, i would like to cheer the most for the warm and welcoming environment of the people. Kak Lydia, Kak Emy, Ita, Jeff, Asrul, Elly, BoSS mr. Irwandy and everyone. the hardest thoughts is to think that i will not be around wit these people anymore. no longer a CX'ian.

You will always be my memory *sob..sob*

14 Ogos - Tarikh istimewa

special date for the special someone. you know who you are. dah la tak ble makan seafood kan..pastu bayak feveret food same kot! haish.. enuf said :D *i'll just live in mirage je lah*

6 & 11 Ogos & 3 september - Matrade E41 Pegawai Ekonomi

i went for the exam on the 6.. have to write 2 essays yang i have no idea what was it about..

on the 11th, i got called for 1st round interview.. Cool! and i thought government's process would take like a decade before proceeding to the next round.haha

during the interview: the unforgettable quote:- *ei, sat, are u one of those AF guys ke?? - just because i have a beetle-like hair style*

2nd interview - sat in a group of 8..together with a German and a Usa graduates. oh, and not forgetting a master's graduates@assistance manager. and thus, let the quarrel begins people!!

Now all i have to do is just to sit tight and enjoy the ride. wheter crash and burn or flying with the colors, I'll let God do his work.

NOW...

my life has come back to its normal pace.the roller coaster ride has been slowing down . I'm thankful for what i have now yet still am looking forward for the surprises that my future hold. Untuk kamu semua yang aku kenali biarpun secara langsung mahupun tidak langsung, terimakasih kerana menjadi sebahagian dari Z.A.H.I.R.

ja,

mata-mata ne :D

What is it actually!?

Well, i've been busy for last few weeks. Just got a new job that is. thus, no time to update this blog. pfft~ Anyhow, am just glad that the quest for looking for a job is done! and what's next in line is how to control my pocket money and whether or not to start my weekend class.. Soo many things, yet sooo little effort..huuuu~ this really makes me feel like looking for my own P.A!! anyone!?

Lantak la ye..


Now, i just want to share what have been playing at the back of my head.. see, human never satisfied with what they have in live. like people say, "the more, the merrier!" kot (is it applicable here?? huh, i don't care!)..hahaha
but in my case, things happen in a quite unique yet always becomes true at the end of the day. The thing is that, if i really like something sooo much, that i'll get it by any possible means, those thing at the end of the day, are going to be nothing but just a piece of trash -one true day! and if i were to hesitate in doing or getting something that i don't feel like having or doing it in the first place, it will always turnout to be the other way around! that is mad freak guys.. its not karma, its not dejavoo.. law of attraction,hmmm..no idea~


This thing always kept me from giving my 100% in everything i do..coz i know that if i were to give my full blast, i'll ended up letting my acquaintance down - & even more, MYSELF down! that is why i always look dull and demotivated most of the time.. at least that is how i viewed my self -form an angle. my brain is dried for idea that i can use to alleviate this seemingly-wont-go-away-anytime-soon pandemic of mine. It has started to affect the other parts of my body as the whole team is being pulled down together with this sinking feeling.


If any of you happens to read this writing, please if you have any solutions..by all mean please share it with me.. coz for all i know, a simple motivation is a magic words can heal the pain and lit the darkness that blurring one's eyes..

Ja, mata ne :D

Wah2... Lagu baru la!!

I just got the news from Mr. Jamal Pak Tongkol @ Joe yang kite akan bermain lagu "kekasih awal dan akhir"! wow, really didn't see that coming :D cikgu oh cikgu, please can you make a new song other than the retro lullaby that we've been playing so far?? buat la yang swing sket ke.. pop sket ke.. hehehe

anyway, thank you cikgu for all your effort in coming out with a soul cuddling songs!! peace beb!

mata2 ne :D

interview

I just got back from an interview..with Citibank. The environment was quite ok. I was offered as customer executive in the call centre department. the remuneration is good, the latest shift is at 2 a.m in the morning.. and the off day is 2 days on any day of the week..meaning not fix to just weekend.

i was on budding system for about an hour. the officer turn to be my age and she was sooooo hilarious :P looking at her, answering customer's inquiry and manipulate the situations was very inspiring (ye la tuh..hehehe).. i just have the feeling that i can do it, if give it a shot. the only prob that i see is that how am i going to meet the monthly target..
shoot!! am really not a target - oriented - person :( but, worry not people, i will work my way around it!! hai, ore wa honto ni gambarimasu!!

okie dokie, gtg.. my mum is threatening me with her chef knife if i don't stop typing and go to the dinner table for my lunch now.huhu. scary~ "yes mum, Coming!!!!!!!!!" ..

mata2 ne :D

L.i.s.t.e.n.

I went back to my old school (SMTG) today. get to meet Madam Ho, Pn. Peridah, Pn. Suyanti, Ustat Misnan and wife, En. Kamal a.k.a The Rock and others. I also get to meet new teacher as well ( whom did not get the chance to teach my class dlu...huhu) It was soo reminiscing. Especially when i was incharge selling stuff for the ko-op and being Miss Faezah's tail, going to wherever she goes..hehe but too bad, tcher faezah was not there. she went to Qatar over some family matters. I'll Pray for your safety teacher!

I spent most of the evening chitchatting with Teacher Safina ( Apiz favorite teacher!) together with Apiz. We talked about our teachers whom married to his and her students. I was seriously stunned upon hearing the news. who would have thot zidane the Physic teacher would have ended up marrying my Junior!? and another female teacher who got married to Apiz friend?! hohoho..what a small world we are living in here people :D We even talk about marching band and coincidentally teacher Safina was also into it as well. nice! (sory Piz, left u all wondered in your own lala land for a while..hehe) we even planned to go to the even together if there is no obstruction ahead. Insya Allah teacher!!

and at night, i went to meet Apiz friend (together with Fami) at Jalan Ipoh. We sat there for a couple of hours talking all sorts of things. Mr. Andrew is Apiz mentor in Public Mutual thinggy. which i thought is a good way to learn how to make a smart investment at the right place. this fellow really is good in reading people. based on his experience alone, people are like a transparent piece of paper which he can see through inside out! Gile Scary! hehe i learned a lot from him tonight. really need to find the book that he mention earlier. good to know your strength. make you feel more confident!

i realize that i talked too much at times, but i have this feeling that i really know when the right time to stop.. may be it just comes naturally. see, am not really into the theory of this and that. it just add too much confusions lah wey. for me, being a good listener is to give the right respond to whatever the other party was talking about. That alone would have make the speaker feel he was being listened by the other party. maybe the theory of how many percent this one get compared to how many percent the other half get is just toooooo technical. At the end of the day, its the accent of the conversation digested is what matters regardless how much one party talks compared to the other party. the rest of the conversation is just like a flower decorating a garden to make it looks better. however, this is just my opinion. remember people, different trees, different fruits! Gheeeeee~~

Mata2 ne :D

Well, well well ...

Howdie mate! its been a while since my last post. i just came back from sgamat (UiTM). Drum comp was great! except for some miss judgment and copycat - so - not - cool going on there. well, that aside, i was in the performance group for the event. yeay me! coz got to learn 2 new songs ( Bila Larut Malam & Jeritan Batinku) overnight! well, not that i have never play the song (BLM did once, but Jeritan is a whole new story :) ) ive forgotten most of the part, especially the main body of the song. Luckly hafiz was there (u rock bro!) - if not, i dont think lower brass could ever sound so LOWER..huhu well, am sooooo satisfied with the trip, especially with a surprise from Man, who came out of nowhere, joining the trip as replacement for pipers (Man, if only the pipe is working kan?? :p)

The percussion's

well, the overall result was not quite shocking as there were some copycatting and dummying going on in the competition. we fell short on the 3rd place, johor segamat campus came out 2nd and the 2 consecutive champ, the Victoria wanabe - Terengganu, Dungun campus. not that they dint deserves to be on top, but some originality wont hurt, isnt it? coz for all that is worth, the sweat, the pain, the ever tiring nonstop practice of yours would have been more memorable if you put everything ORIGINALLY by your own brain juice. And the fact that we lost by not having a drummajor, throwing mace here and there is just..absurd?? well oh well, at the end of the day, we are just the visitor, there is nothing more we can do, desho..

BOKU NO KOTO

Zahiruddin just took Discover the Secret Behind Your Name.

M : Success comes easily to you.
O : You are very open-minded.
H : You are not judgmental.
D : You have trouble trusting people.

Z : You're always fighting with someone.
A : You can be very quiet when you have something on your
mind.
H : You are not judgmental.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.
R : You are a social butterfly.
U : You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
D : You have trouble trusting people.
D : You have trouble trusting people.
I : You are always smiling and making others smile.
N : You like to work, but you always want a break.

courtesy from FB :)

mata2 ne...

A Chip On The Shoulder

'A Chip On Your Shoulder'

Being upset for something that happened in the past.

I came across this quote when i was browsing the net.
really makes me think, am i still stuck in my past??
hmmm...

Tipical Malaysian Scumbag!

i just got back form masjid. Punye panas lah, masya-Allah! panas satu hal, parking plak is another story. bleh lak la pak arab sorang ni pegi blok kete aku. pandai punye dol! pulak tu, kat tengah2 jalan. mau jam satu taman melati tadi..haish! engat ni kat arab ke, ble brenti mane2 ikut suke.kalau tau nak g smayang, lenkali datang awal sket. siap ble dapat shed parking lagik. Berasap gak la aku menunggu dalam kete tadi. pasang aircond full pun tak rase.

habis azab tunggu pak arab tu, lagik satu bende yang really ticked me off, Malaysian drivers! (especially onna la..sorry ;p) tapi, tadi nye case, mase aku nk kua simpang kat mrr2 (near the UIA exit, towads bt caves) ade la sbijik cetroen hitam. nak kate laju, takde la sangat. tapi bile time die nampak aku nak klua simpang tu, die bleh speed up! HAMLAU punye ayam! orang lain pn nk cepat gak, tapi give and take la sket..tak kemane de tempat ko nak pegi tu.kat situ jugek! seb baek tadi jalan clear. kalau ape2 jadi tadi, I SEE U IN COURT! haha..jangan memain. skarang nye trend salah sket je SUE! ha, gile ape2 je la. takde la aku nak amek port kot.
ok ah, gue mau makan. jap2 gik kalau ade brite menarek akan ku tempel lagi.


mata2 ne :p

Check this out - Euphoniumeers!

Bet u guys wana try this one.. pretty cool.
i personally says that the eupho's rock!
sory trumpeters..tough luck lah..hehehe
anyhow, credits to both blowers :D
Omedeto!





mata2 ne :p

when oh when~

This baby over here is one heck of an mp3 for me. it's not just any ordinary mp3, but it is built with sound neutralizer which gives you almost 100% crystal clear pure music straight into you ear!! The earpiece is specially designed with a built in microphone to detect external noises and do what ever shraps it does to neutralize the sound (to bad it is not compatible with other mp3. Damn!) i've tried it, and before i know it, i was in my own lala-land la kot! hahaha

seriously, i was kinda like walking back and forth between and Ipod or this baby. Clearly Ipod only wins on the facade but price and quality wise, this sony mp3 prevails! (well, at least that what i think :)

well, yes the Ipod have all the looks and everything, but why should you pay for something that is the same Q + CHEAPER!?
and not to mention, easy to navigate and easy to put in songs as well. no need converter.hehe :)

huhu, REALLY cant wait till i get my hand on this one! :p


(p/s: Fali, heard you just got a new Ipod kan? Bet you try this one :p )


mata2 ne..

For the UNEMPLOYED~~

This is something for you jobless people.. together we strive people!!
- yeah, BULL****! hahaha~~

SHOOT 'em DEAD!

I went for an interview this morning. For all i know, i was going for a junior recruitment executive post. and i thought like, "oh gosh, this is it!! this is it!! the DREAM job!!" . so there i was, standing infront of the company's door, waiting like a cat waiting to be fed by his master. i was there like an hour early man, just to be disappointed by the company, saying that i have no background what so ever crap! PAHAL!? Bon lek je keje as recruiter. Fresh grad WITHOUT experience. not to mention background! ble je.. dalmost a year kot!

ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

To all the people out there, this is a piece of advice from me; just go for your interest, dispite what ever people say!! including your parents! trust me, you never want to be in my place. Really feel like crap this mornig la!
sangatlah demotivated oi..


mata ne..